


Time to Pretend

by writerstrash



Series: Mr. Stark & His Kid [11]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Endgame Fix-It, Family, Fluff, Gen, Sad, endgame non-compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:15:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22141645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerstrash/pseuds/writerstrash
Summary: Tony survives Endgame, Peter is back.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Mr. Stark & His Kid [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1402432
Comments: 3
Kudos: 136





	Time to Pretend

**Author's Note:**

> "Yeah, it's overwhelming. But what else can we do?"

Everything looked so different. 

Everything _felt_ so different.

Five years had gone by, and to Peter it felt like less than five minutes. 

But there was such a weight inside him, as if he had lived through those five years in his own way. In a matter of days, he had to adjust to so much trauma and loss that he just didn't know how to process it. There were millions of people who had vanished during the Blip that were coming back to empty houses and lost loved ones, and here was Peter with his aunt and his friends all alive and well. He had never felt so ungrateful in his life.

Even a month on, Peter just didn't feel right.

Tony grew more concerned every single day. Even as he rested at home in his own recovery, all he thought about was Peter. Just like every day during those five years. Peter knew he was trying to reach out and check up on him, but he couldn't help feeling like the a complete burden. Tony had his own kid now. His _very own_ kid. His own family. Peter wasn't his responsibility, especially after what he had done to get him and everyone else back.

It took three calls in one go for Peter to answer Tony. He was sitting on top of a building, his mask pulled off, just watching the sunset. 

"Hey Mr. Stark," he answered, trying his best to sound gleeful and chatty. 

_"Hey, kid. Nice to hear your voice,"_ Tony sighed. _"This a bad time?"_

"Uh, no, not a bad time,"

_"So should I be offended that you sent me to voicemail twice already?"_

"Sorry, it's on silent," he lied. "Is something wrong?"

_"Just wanted to check in, that's all. Haven't seen you in over a week, Pete. Everything okay?"_

"Everything's fine. Just...plain old Peter,"

 _"There's nothing plain about you, Underoos,_ _"_

Peter smiled softly.

"How are you?" 

_"Pepper lets me out of the house now,"_ Tony laughed. _"Working on some schematics for the new prosthetic, wanted a certain Spider-kid to come have a look at it,"_

"Really?" 

_"Unless you know any other spiders?"_

Peter smiled to himself. The idea of going to Tony's and hanging out in the lab for a few hours used to have him so excited he could barely contain himself. This was the exact thing Peter used to dream about. There was nothing more exciting then spending time with his mentor, but Peter wasn't sure what Tony was to him anymore. 

The man didn't have time to be Peter's mentor, really. He didn't need be worrying about him, anyway. Tony was out of the superhero game and had been for over five years. He had a family to concern himself with. He couldn't have Peter going over and reminding him of what he had been through. Reminding him of why he is now suffering. Reminding him that he almost lost his real family. 

Peter couldn't expect things to go back to the way they were. 

"I'm uh, I'm helping May cook dinner tonight," Peter fumbled, shaking his head. 

_"Doesn't have to be tonight,"_

"I'm just real busy this week, Mr. Stark. You know I'd love to,"

There was a long pause.

_"Yeah, I thought you'd like to,"_

"I really would, I'm just..."

 _"You're busy,"_ the man sighed. _"I get it. Lots of catching up to do, huh?"_

"Yeah, catching up. We're still working on all our stuff that's coming out of storage, you know? It's...a lot,"

Peter heard Tony humming in agreement. Of course he knew it was a lot. The whole world was going through exactly what Peter was experiencing. Everyone was piercing their lives back together just fine.

_"Just a call away, kid. You know that, right?"_

Peter could feel a lump rising in his throat. He wanted nothing more than to just _pour out_ all of his feelings to Tony. But he couldn't 

"I know,"

* * *

It had officially been a month since Peter had last seen Tony. It wasn't that he was actively avoiding going to the lake and seeing the man, but he just didn't jump at the chance each time it was offered. If Tony saw him and how screwed up he was, he would know that Peter wasn't ready to get back to his life.

That he wasn't ready to jump back into being Spiderman, or to go into training, or to be somewhat useful. That he wasn't _coping_.

"Wanna tell me why you're avoiding Tony?" May asked one evening, during dinner.

"I'm not avoiding him," Peter shrugged, looking innocent.

"He told me you haven't returned his last three calls or messages," she countered.

Peter sighed.

"Are you guys, like, _talking_ now?"

"We're worried about you, Peter," she explained, reaching over to grab his hand. "You think I don't see you? I see you. I _know_ you, and I know you're not okay,"

"A lot of people aren't okay, May," he shook his head. 

"But you're _my_ kid, so I get to be a little more interested in just you. I know you're not sleeping. Look at your eyes, Peter. You're making yourself sick, too. People are going to think I don't feed you," 

"I'm just taking a while to, you know, _adjust_ to everything," he shrugged. "It's not a big deal."

"Then why don't you want to see him?" she asked. "Are you scared? Because he's _fine_ , honey. He's recovering better than expected,"

"I know he's okay," Peter nodded. "I can just...I can _see_ it all the time. You know...when you just f-fade...and you can still feel it. You felt it, didn't you?"

May frowned. 

"I felt it," she nodded. "But maybe a little differently. It was like falling asleep, and waking up from a three hour nap. Everything felt so different, but you _knew_ you hadn't been asleep for too long. What did you feel like?"

Peter's whole body was shaking now. 

"It...it was like...everything was shutting down," he stuttered. "Like I was being ripped apart, but...slowly. I can't...I can't put it into words, okay? I don't like talking about it. I don't _want_ to feel it anymore. Isn't the point of moving on to, you know, _move on_ _?_ "

May looked at him sadly. 

"Not until you talk about it, Peter."

That was enough for him. Peter stood up, letting out a long breath he didn't know he had been holding. 

"I'm going for a walk,"

"Peter, don't walk away," 

"May, I have to, okay? I can't do this,"

* * *

Tony was sitting on the couch when FRIDAY altered him to a visitor as soon as they had crossed the boundary lines into the private property. Peter was one of the very few people who had clearance. Even before they had him back, Tony had the boy listed as 'family' on the facial recognition system. 

It always gave him hope to see Peter on the listing, thinking one day the kid would come back. As if he knew where in the world he was. As if he thought there was another way. As if it were all a bad dream.

"Is that Peter?" Pepper asked, looking over the alert on the tablet. 

Tony nodded.

"It's raining so heavy out there. Is he okay?"

"No," Tony sighed. "But I think he's only just realising it."

With a soft squeeze of his shoulder, Pepper retreated upstairs to check on Morgan and give them some space. She knew how much it was hurting Tony to not see the boy, and she knew this was a moment reserved for just the two of them. 

A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door. Tony was already halfway to the door and when he finally reached it, he saw Peter standing outside. He was soaking wet from head to toe, his body trembling from the cold and nervousness. 

As soon as Tony opened the door, he could see Peter's shoulder sag in relief, like he had been carrying the weight of the entire world.

Peter rushed forward, dripping wet, and shoved himself into Tony's chest. His arms wound around the man and gripped tight as if he thought Tony was going to fade away at any moment. As soon as the boy was in his arms, Tony could feel him shaking and could hear the gasping breaths he was taking. The kid was _sobbing_ in his arms.

"Peter," Tony sighed, holding the back of the boy's head with his only hand. 

God, he wished he could hug Peter properly.

"I'm sorry," Peter cried. "I'm sorry,"

"What for? Peter, you've done nothing-"

"I can't stop feeling it, Mr. Stark," Peter trembled. "I can't stop _seeing_ all of it. And it was _years_ ago and I...I can't!"

"Hey, shh, shh," Tony soothed, pulling Peter into the room and closing the door. 

Peter was still crying when Tony helped him take a seat on the couch. With one arm, Tony slowly helped Peter out of his shoes and soaking wet socks. While the kid was in a bit of an emotional daze, he had FRIDAY alert Pepper to bring down some dry clothes. If Peter was more alert, he would have been embarrassed that Tony saw him in his underwear like a baby.

But it didn't bother the man at all. _Right, he's a total dad now_. 

"Here, drink," Tony advised, handing him a mug of hot chocolate. "You're freezing,"

"Not," Peter shook his head, accepting the mug. "Are you...are you sitting, too?"

Tony realized that Peter was asking for comfort, and he sat down immediately. Peter melted into his side as Tony leaned back on the couch, wrapping his one arm around the kid and holding him close. 

"I'm sorry," Peter told him, again.

"You have _nothing_ to be sorry for," Tony shook his head. "You're so full of guilt and you don't need to be, trust me."

"I didn't mean to ignore you,"

"I know,"

"Are you mad at me?"

"Of course not,"

"You should be. After five years you go through all of...all of that to get me and everyone else back and I'm _such_ an asshole,"

Tony chuckled.

"Your threshold for being an asshole is kinda low,"

Peter looked at him sadly.

"I wanted to come see you every day, you know?"

Tony's heart warmed.

"I knew you needed time," he nodded. "Last thing I wanted to do was smother you. I can't imagine what it's like for you, Pete. All I know is what it was like for _me_ , and kid...it was Hell. I missed you every day. And I know before all of this, I wasn't as good with you as I could have been. I shouldn't have been so hard, I shouldn't have been so cold. For five years, I've wanted to have you back, and then I did, and it took everything in me to not force my way into your life,"

Peter couldn't stop crying.

"I _want_ you in my life! I didn't mean to push you away-"

"You didn't. I'm not going anywhere. You couldn't push me away even if you pulled the silent act for years."

"But you don't need me," Peter shook his head. "I don't...I don't want to put myself where I don't belong. Just because I feel like you're...it's not that...I _know_ you're not my dad, and I know it freaks you out when I get all weird and try to hug you but...and I know I kinda barged into your house-"

"Peter, you belong here," Tony cut him off, his words firm. "Don't ever, _ever_ think you don't have a place here. Do you know that Morgan knows almost everything about you? If you asked her what Peter's favourite food is, she would tell you. If you asked her who the smartest person in the whole world is, she'd say Peter Parker,"

Peter was watching him, eyes wide, heart racing.

"You are part of my family, like it or not. There are photos of you on my _wall,_ kid. That's a big deal for me."

Peter laughed, and the sound hit Tony deep. It was everything he wanted hear.

"I'm tired," he admit. "I'm so tired, and I don't know how to sleep anymore. I don't know how to stop living it all over again,"

"Nightmares are inevitable with what you went through," Tony sighed. "But I'm well-versed in dealing with them, and also waking up from them, so you're safe to give it a shot right now, okay? I'm pretty comfortable, actually, I might catch a few hours as well."

Peter stared up at him.

"You're lying,"

"I'm not, I'm always tired," Tony shrugged. "I have a four year old daughter, Peter. I'm _always_ tired."

"Do you think she'll like me?" 

"She's loved you from the moment she heard about you, Pete,"

The boy's lips pulled up into a smile as his eyes fluttered closed. Nestled into Tony's side, wearing clothes that smelled just like him, warmed from the fire and hot chocolate resting in his stomach, Peter finally felt the pull of his exhaustion.

"Mr. Stark?" he mumbled after a few minutes, barely awake.

"Mm?" 

"Are they good pictures of me?"

Tony thought to the one in the kitchen. The one of the two of them goofing around. He smiled, warm and fuzzy and finally content after all these years. With two children who owned his heart finally _together_ and alive and well.

"The best."


End file.
